Monday 2 June 2014

I want to be born


I want to be born
I was in heaven with god
God showed me beautiful world
I felt like to go down to earth

After month I was in market with my mother
I got scared by the crowd
My mother bought my favorite fruit
In a moment crowd dispersed
Police came and started searching for bomb
I could have been killed
My mother saved my life

I was watching TV with my mother
News was scaring me
I felt suffocated
My mother switched off TV
My mother took care of me

She read me a newspaper
It was same news I was watching on TV
Momma stopped reading
She kissed me with her hand
In few minutes I fell asleep

Momma woke up so early so do I
She started cooking for dad
She fed me first
I feel she loves me more than anything
Dad was scolding her
I didn’t understand relation between them
Momma didn’t mind that
She protected me from all bad things

Mother’s friend came to see me
She told my mother to take care of me
Outside communal riots took place
I was so young to understand Hindu and Muslim
God taught me only about human
He didn’t mention cast, creed, and discrimination

When I was with God
He taught me about love, care and humanity
Earth was so different than god described it to me
How can he be wrong in what he created?

My mother loves me that’s all that matters to me
She loves reading and so me too
Whole nation would be waiting for newspaper
National budget is important for whole country
She was so much worried after reading
But she didn’t let me sense her worries

She was worried about my education
Schools and colleges are costly
Without money and education
Earth is no good place to live
But she held her strong
She promised me to give a good life

I was walking in the park with momma
Old aunty told momma to take care of me
Last month one baby was kidnapped
He was found physically abused and dead
I got very scared and told momma
I don’t want to come outside
Momma consoled me
I agreed with her

I just came out of trauma
Second day I heard about woman atrocity
People from the globe were concerned
She was raped and killed
After few days again the same news flashed
Rape was becoming fashion
I was crying inside
Momma was trying to calm me
I love when she caresses my hair

Accused often turns freeman
Girl was poor she was unable to fight
If you are true than too you have to buy justice
I don’t want to be born
I don’t want to see this world

God I don’t want to go on the earth
Your creation would be other world
This is not the world you told me
I am in womb and I saw all this
What if someday I will be a victim?
Will you come for my rescue?
If you come to rescue people
Why all those have faced death
Why they all are helpless

From last three months I have seen too much
Everywhere Corruption, Atrocity, Inhumanity
I will be with you only
God convince me to stay some more days
I agreed with him

My mother was reading Gandhi
I understood the power of common man
She read about Abraham Lincoln
I understood justice and equality
People who changed the world
Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King
They influenced me to be born

You are very smart God
You are sending me to change the world
I am sorry I misunderstood you
I will change the world
And try to make it the way you have created

Momma has pain in stomach
She was worried about me
Dad took her to the hospital
Doctor checked and medicated her
She was feeling much better
I said sorry to my mother for hurting her
She said you are my life, you can never hurt me
Momma hugs me and we both fell asleep

Dad wanted to know my gender
Doctor denied revealing
Dad bribed doctor
Doctor said baby girl

I was so excited to be girl
Because beautiful creation of world
God made nothing as beautiful as woman
Thank you god
If I cannot be Gandhi or Lincoln
I will make my son Gandhi or Lincoln
I am woman
I can be Mother Teresa and Kiran Bedi

I suddenly heard some noise and woke up
Momma was on floor
Dad beat her
And I was the reason
I felt very bad, I am inside
I cannot help my mom
Momma told me that before you
Your dad killed two sisters of yours

Momma please don’t let me die this time
I want to be born
I want to change the world
God created many powerful women
And I am also one of them
I will never let you down

In the evening
Dad again shouted on her, beat her
My mother was so strong
But she collide with table
Dad doesn’t want me to be in the world
How should I tell to my dad?
I won’t be burden on him
I will help you in every way I can

Momma gets sick in the morning
She had to be admitted in the hospital
Dad talked to doctor
Momma was in sleep
She was taken in to operation theatre
I knew everything but unable to tell her
There were two nurses beside momma

I understood what they were trying to do
They wanted to kill me
I screamed Momma
I want to be born please
I was badly crying
Momma please wake up
They are going to kill me
I want to be born
I want to change the world
I want to give you good life
I will be good kid
I will be helpful domestically
I will be your baby boy in need
Please wake up and save my life
I want to be born

Momma they have broken my hand
It hurts too much
They broke my leg and it’s paining
They cut my head and put in the dish
Momma now I am no more in your womb
But I wanted to say
That I loved these three months
We spent whole time together
I wanted to be your daughter
But I don’t exist
They threw my body part in dustbin
I was scared of inhumanity
But I got courage to face it

I was not ready to go on the planet
But god convinced me
I cannot blame him
He sent me to change the world
But world doesn’t want change
They are used to insensivity crime
When they will need change
They will let me born

And believe me I want to be born